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October 22, 2003

(…with apologies to Bloom County, easily the greatest comic strip of all time [and nobody chronicled the 80s better])

Yesterday, I mentioned that Penn State’s star wide receiver and team captain, senior Tony Johnson, had been arrested and charged with Driving Under the Influence of alcohol last Friday (October 17). This wasn’t good, either for Penn State Football or for those of us who have friends and relatives driving around State College every night. But get a load of Head Coach Joe Paterno’s reaction to the news at yesterday’s weekly press conference, as reported in today’s Altoona Mirror.

“I’m unhappy with Tony’s situation. He should not have been up that late. It will all get blown out of proportion because he’s a football player, but he didn’t do anything to anybody, and there are legal aspects as to how it’s resolved. I’ll probably have to suspend him for a game or so because I have to send a message to the squad that it’s inappropriate to be out in the middle of the week having a couple of drinks.”

So Johnson’s DUI is no big deal because nobody got hurt? And worse yet, the only message that needs to be sent about this incident is that its inappropriate for Penn State football players to be having a few drinks in the middle of the week!? Does Paterno have any idea how many innocent people are killed by drunk drivers every night? Does Paterno have any respect whatsoever the rest of us Central Pennsylvanian motorists who must occsionally share the highways with his football players?

But then Paterno really dropped into bizarro world, accusing local police of singling out his football players.

“I think a lot of these things that are happening there are people that say, ‘there’s a kid that looks like he’s a football player, let’s trail him.'”

When some reporters in the room raised their eyebrows, Paterno only partially backed off.

“Are they targeting football players? I really don’t know.”

If there is one generalization I can make about Centre County, it is that practically everybody up there would look the other way (given the chance) if any facet of the Pennsylvania State University (but especially a football player) did anything illegal. Really, the local cops showed some character in arresting Johnson after they learned who he was. Now I can admittedly see some local crackers targeting African-Americans (which Johnson is), but that isn’t what Joe accused the police of doing.

Rarely has Joe Paterno pissed me off this much. How the hell did this DUI excusing, double standard bearing (what if a drunk driver killed Sue Paterno?), paranoid, myopic, grudge-holding, nepotistic, senile, bitter old man become one of the most respected coaches in the United States?

Hail to Joe Paterno continuing to reveal his true self.





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