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February 18, 2009

Jim Calhoun’s Mark Antony Audition

Filed under: Uncategorized — Chas @ 11:27 pm
For Mike Kitts is an honourable ref...

For Mike Kitts is an honourable ref...

[More mad props to Rick for the fine work on the photo]

Scene: Jim Calhoun strides out. Looks out into the press conference. Squinting a bit as he looks at the cameras, assembled media, and lights.

“Yes, my name is Jim Calhoun, and I  will now perform the rant, er, I menan soliloquy from Act 3, Scene 2 of Julius Caesar.”

Luke Winn and Andy Katz exchange confused looks. Jeff Jacobs starts to smirk. Dave Solomon dabs a tear from his eye.

Media, Huskies, Connecticutians, lend me your ears.

I come to praise Pitt, not bury the refs.

The missed calls by refs lives after them,

The well-played game by Pitt continues,

So let it be with this game… The officiating said Blair was not fouling

and hath told you that Thabeet was;

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath UConn answered it…

Here under the way the officials called the game,

(For Mike Kitts is an honourable official;

So are they all; all honourable officials and I do not wish to comment on that…)

Come I to speak of UConn’s loss…

It was my fault for the stagnant offense in the final minutes;

But the refs say Thabeet and Adrien were not fouled;

And the refs are honourable and I do not wish to comment on that…

Pitt made plays down the stretch,

Our defense made crucial errors on Fields to allow the open looks;

Blair had his way inside with his NBA physicality

Did this seem unlike what was permitted in 26 other games played?

When Blair roamed the paint, Thabeet appeared to be fouled;

The calls have to be made;

Yet the refs said there was no foul;

And the refs are honourable men and I do not wish to comment on that.

You all did see that this game was allowed to be too physical

I did not adjust my team to it, but Pitt did.

This was out of the late 90s in the Big East: was this not too physical?

Yet Ed Hightower says it was not too physical;

And, sure, he is an honourable man and I do not wish to comment on that.

I speak not to dispute what the officials did not call,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did see the game, and can make your own judgment:

And if you did not see it the way I did, then should you not be writing about tennis tonight?

O judgement! I do not make excuses,

If it’s going to be called that way, just let us know before… Bear with me;

My heart is back in the locker with those kids,

And they need to make better decisions.

…And end scene.





I’ll put that in the top 10 all-time blog posts I have read!

Comment by Carmen 02.18.09 @ 3:00 pm

Chas enjoy very much your post Uconn blogs

nonetheless, the P-G (Zeise) is reporting that Cignetti will be announced as new OC in the next 10-15 minutes

Comment by w bill 02.18.09 @ 3:36 pm

Brilliance

Comment by Hollywood 02.18.09 @ 4:05 pm

What a hoot! Great job. Looking forward to your ARod impersonation. Something along the lines of “Forgive me for I know notwhat I’ve done.”

Comment by steve 02.18.09 @ 4:30 pm

To whine or not to whine ……

Comment by w bill 02.18.09 @ 6:34 pm

Picture is obviously fake…his mouth isn’t open!

Comment by pittjd 02.19.09 @ 1:42 am

THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

DeJuan Blair doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus; and UCONN’s petty men
Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
To find themselves dishonourable graves.

Comment by apostles03 02.19.09 @ 7:48 am

Good work chas!

Comment by Joey T 02.19.09 @ 10:44 am

Damn, but that was inspired! Well done, amigo!

Comment by Shawn 02.19.09 @ 1:02 pm

Chas, you’ve outdone yourself!

Calhoun conveniently forgot that Pitt had 9 fouls to 3 UConn fouls in the first half.

To quote the bard

“me thinks the lady
doth protest too much!!”

Hail to Pitt!!

Comment by tph60 02.19.09 @ 1:32 pm

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