You know it would be. Stupid. Moronic. Punch line right there.
Police said Douglas stumbled from his car and nearly fell when officers confronted him.
“Hey, I play for Pitt football. … Please don’t arrest me,” Douglas told officers, according to a criminal complaint.
It would be, except that this wasn’t just a DUI incident where he was caught, and we can just go tsk-tsk about how bad it could have been while making all the jokes that it would normally deserve.
According to court records, Mr. Douglas, a redshirt freshman from Opa-locka, Fla., was arrested after police were called to the scene of an accident at 1:41 a.m. at East Carson and 22nd streets.
The victim, Christopher Paul, suffered head and neck injuries. Police found him lying in the street, and paramedics drove him to UPMC Presbyterian where he was in serious condition Sunday.
Police, searching for the suspect’s car based on eyewitness reports, found Mr. Douglas trying to park the damaged vehicle in the 1700 block of Sarah Street.
Jason Douglas has been charged with, “aggravated assault with a vehicle while DUI and being involved in an accident that resulted in personal injury, as well as a misdemeanor charge of driving while under the influence of alcohol or a controlled substance and a summary underage drinking charge.”
Obviously Douglas has been immediately and indefinitely suspended. It would surprise no one if his career at Pitt is over for this. Given that he not only injured someone while under the influence, but drove off is really what puts this in the realm of career ender at Pitt.
With his “don’t arrest me” plea to the cops, it is possible he wasn’t even aware that he struck a pedestrian. That does not excuse him. In fact it only makes indicates how messed up he was while driving.
From a football standpoint, it really isn’t a major issue. Douglas was 3d on the depth chart at running back. As a redshirt freshman, the odds were he was looking at a career as nothing more than a back-up. Behind Lewis, Graham, and future tailback recruits.
Dan Mason, who was a passenger in the vehicle may have had some moral failings in not stopping Douglas from getting behind the wheel — which assumes that Mason wasn’t just as messed-up — but he faces no charges; and likely won’t face any suspension. Some internal discipline, sure. Missing game time, highly unlikely.
In the meantime, the hopes are that Mr. Paul makes a full recovery.